ABC of Torchwood
by Aviolin
Summary: Series of ficlets following the alphabets. Pairing almost always jack/ianto so that means SLASH. Rated T for future parts but the rating depends on the chapter.
1. A

So I started this series of drabbles following the alphabets. Every letter has their own small drabble. These drabbles will be about different Torchwood characters and pairings but because Ianto and Jack are my favorite characters and also my favorite pairing ever in any fandom they probably will get some extra attention. I'm trying to update as often as I can and reviews are always welcome!

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#A

**A**lways there, that's Ianto. Sometimes Jack wonders does that man ever let go, relax, drink a beer and do selfish things. Probably not. Ianto is one of those workaholics who never leave their work place, never complain and never do mistakes and (thank god) never expect a raise even though they have earned one. When Jack comes in the Hub there is always a fresh cup of coffee waiting, when he's on his way out pair of hands are giving him the coat before he even has time to ask for it, when he's hungry his favorite take out foods appear out of nowhere and when he's lonely there is always a warm mouth which knows how to offer the best comfort and nimble fingers unbuttoning his clothes and that fabulous strong mind ready to take the control from him.

Whether it's day or night Ianto Jones is _always _ready to serve.

Once Jack asked why the young man did this unconditional serving but the only answer he got was a professional smile and polite words:

"_It's my job sir. I aim to please."_

There was no indication of personal opinions or emotions and after that Jack stood on the rooftop trying to figure out the mystery called Ianto Jones. He didn't figure it out then. He still hasn't managed to do that. During his long life and numerous adventures all around the universe Jack developed good people reading skills. But with Ianto nothing helps. No matter how sly and sneaky questions he uses Ianto remains blank and locked even after several drinks and questionable use of some alien originated drugs. It bothers Jack. He can read Iantos work history but all he sees are immaculate results and excellent references from experts and other highly important people. There is nothing personal in those records. Well he copied the police records of Iantos conviction from shop lifting but Ianto had been 16 at the time and it had been just a reckless phase in his youth. There are no evaluations about his mental health or reports about his personal life before Torchwood Three. Either there never were ones to begin with or they were all destroyed in the fall of Torchwood London or Ianto is just really good at covering his tracks (which wouldn't really surprise Jack).

And all those mysteries shouldn't be thrilling or attractive but Jack can't help but feel so. The young seemingly so ordinary Welsh man hides himself as well as he does and there are very few people on this planet who can do the same. So he watches as Ianto works day after day dying to know what those perfectly tailored suits hide beneath them. He wants to get behind all those walls and lies that surround Iantos true essence. He wants to get to know the _true _Ianto. He wants to open the young man and see him laid bare and vulnerable stripped from all the secrets.

And Jack is sure that one day he will do that.


	2. B

So this is part two which means the letter B. Still don't own Torchwood

**butterfly.cell**,** IndeMaat **and **lockedinabathroom**, thank you for comments!

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**B**efore this, before Torchwood, Gwen Coopers life was safe, normal and it worked like she wanted and followed her rules and expectations. Her job in Cardiff Police was ideal. She got the opportunity to help individuals and the whole society but still it wasn't too dangerous. She never had to use her gun. She had friends, good loyal friends like Andy, Megan and Carrie and she used to spend most of her leisure time with them. She had Rhys, always so caring and sweet, cooking to her and making her feel like a princess. She had close relationship to her lovely parents and she even was on her way to make Rhys' mum to hate her little less than she did.

And then came Torchwood.

Getting that job changed everything and now her life is anything but normal and painfully reminds her of soap operas.

She is a secret alien hunter working for the Queen. She _might _have an enormous crush to her flirty and dashing American boss who happens to be sleeping with his secretary who is also a man and whose girlfriend he killed. She's also cheating her own lovely Rhys with a handsome doctor to whom her friend fell in love with possibly years ago. The woman who she replaced came back from the dead to almost kill her and her boss had to kill the woman again which caused even more apparently hot and kinky sex between the boss and the secretary. It's just _crazy _and so difficult. She has always prided herself of her compassion and honesty but now she's lying to everyone she loves.

Sometimes everything just makes Gwen want to quit.

It would mean retcon slipped to her drink for the second time. She would forget handsome Jack, sarcastic Owen, sweet Toshiko and professional Ianto. She would forget that aliens do exist, that rift in time and space runs trough Cardiff and how much she enjoyed the whole chaos when instead of stopping a bar fight she stopped the world from ending. But those good moments when she feels like the queen of the world don't come all that often and they have a great price: during these months in Torchwood she has seen more death, evil, suffering, horrors and pain than she saw during her whole career if police forces. Sometimes she thinks that she's not ready for this, that she's not strong enough to last under the constant pressure and danger.

But Gwen knows she won't quit no matter what happens because more than compassionate and honest she is a survivor and a fighter and Torchwood needs her.


	3. C

Sorry this took little longer to update becasue apparently some people thought that trip to the countryside where no internet connections work would work. But here is part 3 which means the letter C. Just some Jack/Ianto fun in a cab and yes, I'm aware that the cab is american english but I just had to put it in here. This is kind of set after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang but can also be read as just a random moment somewhere in the series.

Thanks again to those who reviewed!

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_**C**__ab drivers really should have higher salary_, Ianto thinks. _If I would be one and see this every night I sure as hell would demand more. _Then he kind of stops thinking for a moment because Jacks hand seems to return to his crotch to do evil things even though he has swatted that hand away at least four times now. Besides Jack is not exactly subtle about it. Well he is if you count squishing employees against the cab door and then groping them shamelessly while the cab driver looks very bothered and kind of grossed out by it subtle but Ianto has a firm idea that that isn't what subtle means.

"Jack…"

"Yes Ianto?"

"I usually don't do this after the first date and especially not in a cab."

"Well this is all your fault."

"Exactly how this is my fault?" Ianto hisses letting Jacks hand linger a little longer this time before swatting it away.

"You're wearing jeans. And a red t-shirt. You're begging to be fucked" Jack whispers leaning closer so his hot breath ghosts over Iantos cheek.

The young Welsh man sighs and his own hands pushing Jack away are rather powerless. He shouldn't be this forgiving because he doesn't like public displays of affection (at least not like this) and Jack has no other excuse besides jeans and t-shirts because (as usual) the man didn't even drink wine at the fancy restaurant, just water and sober people shouldn't do this. But in the other hand this is Captain Jack Harkness who was born in the future where people presumably were little more tolerant of these things and cab drivers possibly had tentacles or something other extremely alien like qualities. Ianto yelps when there's a bump in the road and car jerks and he suddenly has Jack literally on him.

"Oops" Jack says grinning like and idiot and pressing hot open mouthed kiss on his neck.

"How long?" he shouts somewhere under a great coat.

"Few minutes" cab driver answers.

Ianto is sure he isn't imaging the almost panicked tone the poor man has.

"Few minutes and I'm going to fuck you. We don't even make it to your bedroom because yes, I want you that bad and I'll just press you against your front door. We probably scare your neighbors" Jack whispers.

"Drive faster" Ianto squeaks.

He is just a human after all.


	4. D

I add this chapter now to make up the delay! This time it's letter D

This one is set to the events of Something Borrowed so contains SPOILERS! Little bit of Owen/Tosh with Jack/Ianto thrown in it

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**D**octor Owen Harper likes to claim that he is a crap dancer but the truth is that he's not. Actually in the past he was a good dancer and now after almost five years all those steps seem to return to his mind quickly. But this time his partner isn't smiling Katie but grinning Toshiko who seems to have a great time amazing ability to dance greatly in those high heels. He just hopes that she doesn't step on his toes. He's not sure would he be able to dance or walk if he had a bloody hole in his foot. But that's quite unlikely since she can turn colliding with pair with horrible sense of rhythm and clothing to a graceful move instead of looking like a clumsy idiot. She actually even giggles a little and suddenly he feels a bang of guilt from always being so mean and oh so dead.

"For a dead man you dance just fine" she comments softly.

"You are full of crap today Miss Sato" he answers.

"And you should learn to accept honest compliments."

"You don't know anyth… ooh! Look at _that_!" he whispers and whirls her around faster than suitable for the slow music.

For a moment she frowns not quite understanding what he means but then her smile is radiating joy like a small sun. Not a surprising reaction since Toshiko has always been the biggest cheerleader for Jack and Ianto who currently are dancing cheek against cheek and even Owen has to admit that they look kind of cute. Not that he will ever say that aloud of course but he still has no intentions of letting the teaboy forget this.

"Come on!" Tosh says stepping further away from him and pulling his hand like she wants to leave the dance floor which is not fair since he was just starting to warm up to the whole idea.

"What are you doing?" he asks walking after her reluctantly.

"I want to watch them. I can't watch them if we keep moving around. If they suddenly decide to kiss I don't want to miss it!"

"I thought you wanted to dance" he mumbles sourly.

He watches how Iantos hand rest on Jacks back. Is it slowly sliding lower or is he imaging things? Toshiko next to him is trying her best to not look like she's staring this like some five star movie but failing miserably. Then she turns her head to give him a beautiful, sweet smile and leans forward to whisper in his ear:

"Don't worry Owen. I promise you another dance."


	5. E

So this is the next chapter which naturally means the letter E. I still don't own anything and everything still belongs to RTD and BBC.

This chapter is a bit AU. Ianto is traveling with Jack and the Doctor and they get into troubles... No spoilers and very mild jack/ianto. I kind of liked the idea of this one because I love the idea of companion!Ianto so I am writing a longer fic inspired by this chapter.

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**E**xotic planets are nice and Ianto has grown to like this whole time traveling arrangement but there is something that he doesn't understand and that is why the Doctor always manages to land on the planets where aliens want to kill them. It feels like the Doctor is one giant magnet attracting troubles where ever he goes and it's amazing how he accidentally manages to break laws, traditions and rules making gangs of aliens angry really fast without trying.

Like now for example.

Jack stayed behind to fix some loose cables with the TARDIS and Doctor wanted to show Ianto _"these fantastic banana trees with bananas as long as your leg_!". He really should have said no and stay with Jack to make sure that he doesn't break anything or at least waited until Jack is ready to join them. Having Jack here now would surely be comforting because as soon as they got to those banana trees Doctor sneezed under one, seriously just _sneezed _and then out of nowhere these black furry things jumped out which led to this: Doctor and Ianto surrounded by angry aliens who wave spears and knives and who shout furiously in the language that is unfamiliar to both of them. The creatures actually remind Ianto about ewoks in Star Wars movies except ewoks in movies were cute and friendly but these are much bigger and apparently they want to kill them or roast them on silent fire or something.

"Whoops" Doctor says happily.

"I _knew _something like this would happen" Ianto mumbles trying to look as innocent as he can while shooting death glares to Doctor.

"Don't panic, just use your ear piece thingy to contact Jack so he can come to save us at the last minute. Or just snap your fingers. That seems to work every time."

"My 'ear piece thingy' happens to be in the TARDIS because you were so eager to show me these bloody banana trees that I didn't have time to get it!"

"Okay… well when will he start missing us?" Doctor asks and finally his bright grins fades a bit.

"You must mean well he starts missing _me_. And the answer is probably in about hour if his internal coffee clock is on time" Ianto comments back.

"Fantastic! I think we'll survive that long on our own! Just keep smiling!"

"I hate you!" Ianto answers with sing-song voice and tight smile.

This seriously is the last time he will go with the Doctor without Jack by his side.


	6. F

Yet again new chapter in which the characters still belong to RTD and BBC. I offer cup of coffee made as well as Iantos to everyone who has and who will comment this fic :D

This chapter is set after season 1 finale End Of Days so spoilers for that! Also featuring a character who will be introduced in a season two so you have been warned!

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**F**our figures are walking towards her like they goddamn own the whole Cardiff. Typical Torchwood to march in when it's her case and possibly the biggest and most important case that has been given to her in a very long time so of course they have to to come and ruin it. When Sandra called her and said that Torchwood will take over and they would have to leave as soon as possible and leave the victim and evidence behind she decided to fight for this. The victim is just a guy looking like some animal attacked him and she doesn't see anything spooky in it and if Captain Oh-I'm-so-great-in-my-great-swishy-coat Harkness wants to argue he would have to face some serious consequences. No one steals a case from detective Kathy Swanson.

But something is wrong. When the four figures come closer there is no Jack Harkness.

Small Japanese woman: yes. Ex-cop with kind apologizing smile: yes. Grumpy looking doctor with bad mouth: yes. But Harkness? No. the fourth member is someone Kathy hasn't seen before. He's dressed in immaculate pinstriped suit and has serious, emotionless face.

"Who's the new boy?" she asks steadily.

"And who's still here on _our _crime scene?" Owen snarls back.

"Answer my question and I'll answer yours. What happened to Harkness? His ego finally made him explode?"

"Captain Harkness is unavailable right now detective Swanson and my name is Ianto Jones" the new boy says with pleasantly low voice with a clear Welsh accent.

"Where is he?"

"That is strictly Torchwood business Detective Swanson just like this investigation" Ianto answers politely but something flashes in his eyes.

She frowns. For a moment it looked like the young man was in some kind of a pain which is rather strange.

"You okay?" she asks.

"I'm fine miss. Now I would appreciate if you leave us to take care of this. I ensure that Gwen will inform the police when we're ready with this. I understand that you don't like this detective Swanson but you just have to let us handle this for your own safety."

"Fine. I'll leave you to this but if I don't get reports about this next time you have to drag me away from a crime scene in cuffs."

"I will write the reports myself. Thank you miss Swanson" Ianto says and nods his head.

Kathy shakes her head and waves her hand to her crew as a sign to back off and drive back to the station. Let Torchwood bastards handle this one. It looks like it's going to rain soon and the good thing in this is that she gets to watch the storm from warm and dry police station with a warm cup of tea instead of working in the cold rain trying to save as much evidences as possible. Just maybe this would end well. Just before entering her car she just has to yell the one final thing over her shoulder to get the last word:

"Hey! When you see Harkness tell him not to hurry back to duty! I quite like this Ianto Jones!"


	7. G

New chapter is here and it means the letter G this time. Everyone who has reviewed gets a ig hub and cookies from me!

WARNING: this fic happens during the episode EXIT WOUNDS so huge SPOILERS!! pairing: jack/ianto

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**G**asp of air and Jack Harkness has returned from the dead. But this time it's not actually a gasp of air more like a mouthful of dirt and maggots that are eating his own flesh. It's always the panic and confusion after coming back and after that it leaves him about a minute time to realize that Grey did this with John and that he's buried alive and he will die like this so many times that counting is just a waste of this extremely short conscious time. After he has realized that it's about 30 seconds before he is scheduled to die again.

Jack Harkness can think a lot of things in 30 seconds.

Too often that precious fleeting moment is spent panicking and hoping that for gods sake let the next death be the last one. Too often it's the gnawing thought that he _deserves _this because he let go of Greys hand. Too often those valuable seconds are spent thinking about bad things and then even more horrible things and all the hope is gone. It's just pain and him trying to move and dig up even though he knows it's impossible and that he won't get out. He hates that: dying mind full of fear, terror, guilt and feeling impossible to describe with words but it always reminds him of a shaking, trapped animal.

But sometimes, just sometimes he's able to spend those 30 seconds thinking about the good things.

Gwen with her adorable gap toothed smile and the way she laughs and how she is just so full of love, compassion and all the good feelings the humanity has. The world would be a perfect place if every people would be like her. And he thinks of Tosh and her small satisfied whoop of joy when she cracks a new challenging alien code or the way her face shines when Owen says something nice to her. Sometimes he even thinks about Owen and his sarcastic comments and thoughtless words and actions and the warm heart under everything, so carefully hidden but still there, beating and able to love. He thinks about Suzie and the way they worked seamlessly together. He thinks about Estelle and her dimples and perfect silky soft curls against his chest. Sometimes he even wastes those 30 seconds thinking about John and how he _totally _was the wife. He thinks about Rose and the Doctor letting the memories wash away the agony and horror.

But most of all Jack thinks about Ianto.

Jack has every single detail of Ianto burned to his mind so if he concentrates just enough he can imagine the young Welsh man with him vividly. Those are the best times of all, those times keep him sane, those thoughts of Ianto and the scent of coffee which seems to linger permanently on the young mans skin. Sometimes he only thinks about the way Ianto used to touch him with those soft and long fingers. Sometimes he thinks about getting back to Ianto again, after this and all the things he would do with the young man one of them definitely being holding him and never letting go. Sometimes he just thinks about Ianto sleeping and looking so peaceful, trying to absorb that feeling into himself. Sometimes he thinks about the way Ianto says '_I love you' _meaning every word sincerely and how he would say those words back when he would return with equal sincerity.

And sometimes that's enough to make him forget the dirt filling his throat and killing him all over again.


	8. H

Few days ago my internet connection went KABOOM in a thunderstorm and today it finally got fixed and working again. So that's the reason why this new chapter has been taking its time to appear here. But it's here now! Chapter 8 meaning H. Disclaimer is still the same meaning that no matter how much I have offered (which means everything from my soul to 1000 billion million dollars) RTD and BBC are not willing to give these characters to me. Enjoy!

This chapter is set during and before Kiss Kiss Bang Bang so veeeeery spoilerish. Pairing is (naturally) jack/ianto and lets face it. This story is starting to head to one massive janto package. My sincere apologies. I just can't help it! Summary could be: home is where your heart is.

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**H**ome is not a building or a room where you sleep every night, cook, take on (and off) your clothes and spend time with your friends and family. Home is not a safe place where you feel like the world can't get to you. Home is not somewhere you wanted to be in for ages and where you finally can go and unpack your things. Jack Harkness learns that the hard way. He thought that the nasty feeling of not belonging that struck him at odd times was because he was there on earth where he was so painfully different. He spent years believing that when Doctor would come and take him to the TARDIS things would get fixed and he would feel like he belongs once again.

But lying on the bed he used during his previous adventures in the TARDIS he still feels like something is missing.

There is something gnawing in the pit of his stomach and he feels restless and against all the expectations TARDIS doesn't calm him down and he spends numerous hours not able to sleep pacing around the ship with the feeling that he should be somewhere else. He doesn't belong here either. Getting caught and spending a year being tortured and called freak doesn't help in finding his own place either. Martha tries to comfort him but it doesn't feel quite right. Doctor asks him to stay and the TARDIS hums gently along with his words.

"Take me back" is the only answer.

He almost said take me home but then decided against it. In the end Cardiff never felt like home either.

The Doctor drops him off to the Plass in the cold night air. He walks to the Hub just to find it empty. Recent readings from the rift show a blowfish case and tracking the SUV is ridiculously easy. With a little help of a cab driver who has a loose opinion about speed limits he gets to the house with rather difficult hostage situation just in time to save the day and make a glorious Captain Jack Harkness style comeback. Gwen and Tosh are there, his lovely girls, and they are fine and healthy blissfully unaware of the year that never happened to them. Owen is there cursing and helping the gunshot victim and he's alive. And then there is Ianto dressed in suit with pink shirt holding a gun and turning to look at him with wide eyes, his mouth slightly open in shock.

And then Jack understands something.

Home is not a certain physical place somewhere in space and time. Home is not necessarily the place where you grew up. Four walls and a roof are not the materials which make home. Home is where the people you love and who love you back are. He grins so widely that his cheeks ache and that it must look a bit weird but he can't exactly help it. But before he can voice his realization Ianto moves and walks out the house careful not to touch him on his way out. The gnawing returns to the pit of his stomach and he feels like he should be somewhere else again.

Somewhere else as in with Ianto and not somewhere where he can't see him.

Later he will say that he came back to Ianto because even though he realized that recently it's the truth. He will ask Ianto out to a proper date he deserves and for once he will do things right. Much later he will sit on Iantos black leather couch in Iantos spotless apartment eating pizza and commenting the movie Ianto picked making the young Welsh man laugh. And after that he will just hold Ianto and finally feel like he has found home.


	9. I

Still not owning anything. New chapter I and it's still jack/ianto... No spoilers at all.

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**I**anto is dying. He has seen enough dying people to know when the death is near and right now no matter what Jack or Owen is saying he bloody hell is dying. Breathing hurts and his head feels foggy and thinking clearly is much harder then it should be. He's cold and the bone deep ache is spreading all over his body and his ears are ringing. He feels so miserable that he doesn't even want to hold on anymore. He just wants to let go and let the darkness overpower him so for once he could feel nothing at all. Jack can complain about death as much as he wants but he has never been forced to die this slowly.

"Just kill me already" Ianto groans pain exploding behind his closed eyes.

"No one is going to kill you."

"I'm still dying."

"No you're not" Owen snorts injecting something into him.

He is so near of death that he's willing to ignore his irrational fear of needles.

"Yes I am" he croaks back.

"You just have surprisingly persistent case of flu baby" Jack whispers helps him to stay upright.

"Don't you call me that while we're on work!" Ianto weakly snarls.

"See? He's already getting better" Jack grins to Owen who has some difficulties in keeping a straight face.

Ianto just groans leaning his head against Jacks shoulder. He would like to have a big cup of tea right now but unfortunately he's in no condition to make tea, Jack and any kitchen device equals fires and explosions and no matter how sick he is he would not let Owen anywhere near of the kitchenette. Tosh is the only one in the team who can make tea besides Ianto and right now she's somewhere solving some case with Gwen. Ianto would know exactly where, why and because of what they are away but this damn fever is burning his brains to useless pile of goo. But not gooey enough to stop him from worrying about the enormous amount of work he has when he gets better (if he gets better at all). The archives must be a mess after the team has used it on their own for three days and he doesn't even dare to think about the paperwork piling on Jacks desk.

"He really should go home to get rest. Being here is not helping his recovery" Owen comments.

"He can't go home!" Jack says ignoring Iantos weak disagreement. "Here I can be with him 24/7 and still keep the world from ending. We tried him being home already. Then the Weevil got loose in here and I had to go and when I came back he was sleeping on the bathroom floor hands bleeding from broken coffee cup."

"That was an accident. I tried to make coffee" Ianto mumbles against Jacks shoulder.

"See what I mean?"

"I think I do" Owen nods.

"Now lets get you to the bed before you pass out again."

"Your bed sucks. Besides it's in a hatch. I hate the ladders. Can't I just sleep on the conference room table? It's quite comfy."

"I do not want to know how you know that" Owen smirks.

"Probably not" Ianto sleepily grins.


	10. J

So this is a new chapter J! It's a bit longer than usual but who cares! Disclaimer is still the same meaning that I do not own anything at all.

Set straight after Out of Time so HUGE spoilers for that episode. Story is about Jacks and Iantos Christmas after the visitors from the past... you can already guess the pairing...

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**J**ohn Ellis and his death is the last nail in the coffin where Iantos Christmas mood is locked and adding the fact that John wasn't the only one who did suicide in _his _car but shared the experience with Jack sends the coffin six feet under really fucking fast.

It all started with the Christmas tree. He went and bought probably the finest (and most expensive) one in the whole Cardiff to cheer up the girls (and Jack since he is such a big kid sometimes) but then Owen destroyed it. Well technically alien tech destroyed it but it was Owen who decided to hang those sparkly little red balls to the Christmas tree. Those red sparkly balls turned out to be not only festive looking but also explosive and when Gwen lit some real candles (which was a BAD idea in the first place but no one listened to him) they went '_boom' _and burned the whole tree down. Then the actual presents which in his case were under that tree burned. There went the designer silky scarf he bought to Tosh and very nice pair of earrings he bought for Gwen, not even mentioning his beloved old stopwatch which he was supposed to give to Jack. Owens gift in the other hand… it didn't matter so much because he had just bought a book telling about the greatest medical discoveries in history.

And now John is dead, his car is ruined and his family is having awesome time in Barbados being too busy to say anything else but hurried _'good Christmas dear' _when he called them. And if Jack wouldn't step out from the shower within the next five minutes the hot water supply would end in his house which wouldn't be a good thing for Jack.

"Hurry up!" he shouts banging his fist to the bathroom door.

"Done already!" Jack answers opening the door so Ianto almost falls flat on his face. "Whoa! Careful there! Do I smell okay?"

"No exhaust fumes if you mean that" Ianto answers coldly.

"Don't be mad at me anymore! Please. I explained it already."

"We had plans Jack!"

"And look! I am here now. I just put on some clean clothes and we go out. The dinner reservation is still on. Don't ruin this just because of what happened!"

"_Me _ruining this?! What about you killing yourself? Did that belong to our plans?"

"I fucked up. I admit it. But we have time! Don't act like everything is ruined because it's not" Jack says wrapping his hands around Ianto who is reluctant to accept the gesture.

"I don't have a gift for you. It burned with that goddamn tree."

"You don't need to buy me gifts Yan. But it would be a great gift to forgive me now."

"My family is in Barbados and too busy to even talk with me" Ianto answers stubbornly ignoring Jack and his sneaky hands.

"You have me. I have all the time in the world for you."

Ianto sighs heavily. He doesn't know which is worse: the fact that Jack is completely honest with this and refusing to look away with those incredibly apologizing eyes or the fact that he can't help but start to forgive him. It's impossible to be angry at Jack for a long time because when Jack decides to be sincere no one can doubt it.

"I was going to give you my stopwatch" Ianto mumbles finally being the one who breaks the eye contact.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh Ianto" Jack whispers gentle hand guiding the younger man to look at him again.

Ianto knows he should be angry, mad and bitter but it seems like all those feelings are drained out of him leaving behind only the warm and fuzzy feeling which haunts him whenever Jack is this close. And then Jack is kissing him and it's so unhurried and loving and different from any other kisses they have shared before. His eyes flutter close and he automatically moves his hands to cup Jacks still damp cheeks, wet from the water dripping from his hair. Eventually it's him who finally pulls back with a sigh resting his forehead against Jacks.

"You're dripping to my carpet" he mumbles.

"Apparently."

"If you are planning to make it to the restaurant on time you need to get dressed soon" Ianto says not being able to hold back the small smile creeping to his lips.

"Special wishes?"

"Red braces."

"Yes _sir_" Jack grins and practically runs to Iantos bedroom.

Ianto smiles and shakes his head. Maybe this Christmas isn't ruined yet after all.


	11. K

I know that I haven't updated this story for a long time but I'm back after well earned holiday on the countryside (thank god it was cannibal free!) So here is the new chapter and I still don't own the characters.

Jack is in a BAD mood... jack/ianto of course. no spoilers but contains bad language.

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**K**nackered Jack, as it turns out, has a non existent patience, anger issues and he snaps so easily that in the car drive back to Hub Tosh and Owen are just gazing at each other barely daring to breath. Jack might be immortal and a man who can run around the whole day with a smile after two hours of sleep but apparently even he has his limits. This time the limit came after chasing weevils and other alien scum four days in a row without a break. Tosh almost pities that last Weevil now safely sedated in the trunk. Owen wonders should they sedate Jack and put him into trunk also because if Jack keeps driving like this they will be all dead before they will reach the Hub.

And god damn it is a close call. Just before driving to garage (far too fast) Jack manages to hit a street lamp and get a nice scratch to the side of the car (and gives Tosh serious traumas about Jack in the drivers seat).

Jack jumps out of the car without a word. Tosh bites her lip and quietly sends a text message to Ianto - the only man who has some chances in fixing this. Owen says that it's no use because Jack is in his psycho mood and not so politely (Jacks mood might be contagious) orders her to help carry the sedated Weevil to vaults. And that trip is no fun either. The Weevil weights a ton, Owen keeps growling and when they get to Hub Gwen looks shaken and keeps staring at Jacks office where their boss is shouting at Ianto who stands there stoically; calm and passive.

After seeing that they get the Weevil to vaults pretty damn fast, eager to return and follow the drama now when they're not the ones getting shout at.

But they hurried for nothing because it looks that Jack is going on and on, waving his hands, pacing around and faint echoes of his yells carry trough the closed doors. There are lots of swear words. Usually Jack never swears. Ianto in the other hand remains passive not moving an inch no matter how close Jack leans to shout his words, the days of frustration finally exploding.

"How long do you think before Jack grabs teaboy?" Owen asks.

"I give it five minutes" Tosh answers eyes glued to the scene.

"I give it three" Gwen mumbles.

"I give it about twenty seconds. Jack looks pissed off" is Owens guess.

It turns out that no one wins this time because finally after eight minutes of frantic yelling and pacing it's Ianto who makes the first move. The young Welsh man suddenly steps forward and slaps Jack hard to one cheek with an open palm, then grabs him from the collar and kisses him. After that Jack is pretty much speechless gaping in his own office like fish on a dry land. Then Ianto just points a finger towards the hatch mumbling something and to their surprise Jack just nods and disappears to his mysterious room under his office. Moment later Ianto walks down looking like nothing happened in the first place.

"That was impressive" Owen whistles.

"Why did you hit him?" Gwen asks puzzled (everyone ignores Owen and his comment about 'bitch slapping').

"He needed to return to reality" Ianto answers calmly. "I told him to go down, take off his clothes, lay down to that pathetic excuse of a bed and wait for me. And now I'm going to make him a cup of coffee."

"And then you'll shag his bad day better?" Owen sneers.

"No. If he's not snoring by the time I get down thee I force the coffee down his throat and then use the empty mug to knock him out. He needs to sleep before he bites our heads off" Ianto answers firmly gazing down to Owen.

"You have a point there. Tell me if you need help in knocking him out. I'm happy to help."

"I'm sure I don't need you help Owen. Jack scraped the SUV. Guess who has to take care of that?"

Owen snorts. Trust Ianto to take care of things varying from scraped cars to moody bosses. Torchwood Three surely would be lost without Ianto 'the teaboy' Jones. Not that Owen never says that aloud though, he still has to keep up his reputation.


	12. L

FINALLY a new chapter. The first sentence came to my mind one day and it stuck and I never meant to write a chapter out of it and I tried other words but they didn't work and I simply had to write this to have some peace of mind. And the disclaimer is the same: nothing belongs to me and I'm not making money out of this (or out of anything else either is totally broke ). And yes, this is Gwen sticking her nose to other people business... again.

This is a gwen POV and contains one sided gwen/jack and gwen/rhys and naturally jack/ianto.

--

_**L**__oving Jack Harkness is like loving an ocean, _Gwen wonders one night when she has way too much time in her hands and nothing better to do. But it's true - loving Jack is like loving and ocean: better do it from the dry land than in the middle of the waves.

Owen and Tosh have certainly managed to keep their feet dry but she can't say that she's as lucky as they are. When she met Jack she had no idea what kind of a man he was and of course she was immediately attracted to him and she's not denying that - Jack is a very charming man. She was happy to jump to the ocean for a nice swim and thought that like in swimming she could turn around, go to beach and dry herself to towel anytime she wanted but it wasn't that easy.

Like the ocean Jack hides dangers under the surface.

There were sharp corals and currents that hurt and pulled her along. There were waves and calm spots and fucking tsunamis. She tried to turn around but she was lost and land had disappeared to horizon. She knows she's a damn lucky for having a man like Rhys who is like a light house guiding her back home to safety where Jack and his magnetic force field can't reach. She sure won't do the jump again and she learned her lesson. Now the only thing she's worried about is Ianto.

Ianto knew about the corals, currents and storms but still jumped in without a lighthouse, head first and headed to horizon.

She has tried to do something, really. She has given Ianto the phone numbers of every nice single friend she has, once she even tried arranging blind date with Ianto and Carrie but then a Weevil hunt came and Ianto refused from another try with his '_absolutely no way you're touching my coffee machine_' look. She has subtly told him over and over again that this little thing with Jack wouldn't end well and for once Owen actually did something helpful and agreed with her with much harsher words. But Ianto doesn't listen to them. He just nods his head and says that he is aware of the fact that his thing - whatever it is - with Jack would end to heartbreak. Hell, even Jack himself has tried to warn Ianto - very rare from an ocean - but didn't succeed when the young Welsh man showed a whole new level of stubbornness.

_Maybe Ianto doesn't want to be saved, maybe he is that suicidal type that willingly sinks down like a Titanic_, she thinks fiddling with her pen. _Or maybe Jack will let him float and pushes him back to shore. Or maybe Ianto just melts to water himself. _

She sighs looking around the Hub her eyes automatically searching for the poor archivist. She finds him soon also - just where she expected: Jacks office, sitting on the edge of the desk with a coffee mug and a smile. They look so happy on the outside but she still wonders if things are so sweet on the inside. She knows it's not her business and she doesn't know everything those two share but she can't just leave Ianto alone to drown. She doesn't know what she can do anymore but she's Torchwood - she would figure something out.


	13. M

Disclaimer is the sad fact that nothing belongs to me no matter how much money I offer to BBC or RTD. This is the new chapter M and it is a quick update as an apology for the slow ones happening lately. Enjoy!

And now to the warning part. This chapter contains sexual situation between to men also known as Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. Set before Cyberwoman so also lisa/ianto on the side and warning of angst (I blame the fact that here in Äänekoski it has been raining for the last three days - the last days of my holiday). Ianto POV

--

**M**aybe it is a bad idea to let Jack do this and maybe he will regret this the rest of his life and maybe he can't wash the smell of Jack off his skin and Lisa will know but right now it doesn't matter because he can't control this anymore. It has been far too long from the last time someone touched him with warm human hands and he is just a mortal man. Honestly, it really is a surprise that he has been able to resist the Harkness charm this long. He has always had a weak spot for blinding smiles.

"God you're beautiful Yan" Jack whispers against his neck.

He flinches a little (Jack doesn't notice or if he does, he doesn't care) because that was Lisa's nickname for him and Jack has no right to use it. But then Jacks lips continue their attack on his and all thoughts in his head scatter like ashes in a storm and embarrassingly needy sound rises from his chest, a whine from an animal that has been caged for too long. Jack chuckles to that and he is happy that Jack isn't a person (_isn't Lisa_) who takes sex too seriously. All he wants (_needs_) now is just a simple fuck with no emotional complications. _But you have seen how he watches you moving around, you know how much he desires to have you, you know that he wants to do this again, you know it will get complicated, you know this will break her heart_… Jack abandons his mouth and bites his shoulder and thank god that scatters the thoughts again. He doesn't want to think right now. There are better moments to dwell in guilt and misery than this particular moment right now when Jack is here and pulling the undershirt over his head.

"God I have wanted this from the moment we met. I've waited so long…" Jack murmurs.

Ianto mentally snorts and rolls his eyes because if Jack has waited this to happen for such a long time he sure could've waited a minute longer to get to an actual bed. He understands Jack and his thing with offices but the truth is that Jack doesn't have to be pressed tightly against a filing cabinet with all sorts of sharp things poking his back.

"Could we move? My back is killing me. The handles…"

"Okay" Jack answers being too impatient to even let him finish the sentence.

_Just so typical Jack. Always on the move, always doing things his way lacking manners and politeness and_… Jack is kissing him again and he can't even finish his own thoughts anymore which is _wrong _because even Lisa doesn't have the power to do that. It takes a moment to realize that he's making those needy sounds again and the hands pulling Jack even closer belong to him. Jack is guiding him away from the cabinet and pushing him against the desk and he really needs to say that those papers wrinkling under his ass are important and it took hours to write them but then Jack bites his bottom lip and starts to open his belt and he just gives up.

Jack is mumbling something now as he starts to trail a line of hot, open mouthed kisses down his neck, collarbones and sternum. He just buries his hands to Jacks hair and groans so loudly that it echoes around the empty Hub. It seems to encourage Jack even more and when Jack finally gets his trousers open and pulls them down with his boxers he knows that this will be over embarassingly fast and prays that the noises he lets out won't carry down to the basement.


	14. N

A new chapter! Disclaimer is the same. The idea for this came from a summer challenge in LJ community _horizonssing _where the challenge was a picture of a strawberry.

This is sweet and fluffy jack/ianto piece after the angstier ones. Contains mentions of adult situations but just mentions.

--

**N**othing compares to strawberries and champagne when it comes to romantic food for a Big Romantic Gesture, Jack knows that much. Strawberries, champagne, sunset, ocean, beach, red and white blanket, possibly some dark chocolate and nakedness… perfection. He has planned everything from Iantos surprised look completed with wide eyes to the sweet afterglow in Iantos apartment, Glen Miller playing as a background music.

The first attempt of this picnic ends in disaster. He has the food and blanket packed to the trunk of the SUV and he's ready to drag Ianto out from the archives using a Weevil hunt as an excuse. Everything is going according the plan.

And then rift alarm sounds and ironically, it's a real Weevil attack alert in Butetown.

Everything goes well for a change but Owen just has to dump the Weevil to the trunk because their usual Weevil Van is currently somewhere in Bay (Jack doesn't even want to think about that incident, really, but he does blame whiskey, Owen and a cross dressed, unidentified man for it). He tries to stop Owen but it's too late and he can hear the champagne bottle breaking (Ianto will kill him because of the mess) and a dirty Weevil with a picnic blanket… Thank god he manages to save the strawberries.

X

Second try isn't much better. He has a new bottle of champagne, he even buys a new blanket but he forgets to check out the weather reports. By the time he finally pushes Gwen out from the Hub it's raining. Right after that he finds out that Ianto isn't such a big fan of thunderstorms. So no picnic, no champagne caused giggles from Ianto and no strawberries in the program tonight.

_It doesn't matter that much though_, he thinks few hours later when Ianto has fallen asleep, curled against his side. _This is not a naked night on a beach but this is Ianto with me and I am not going to complain._

X

The third time is a charm, people say. In Jacks case that is not the truth.

The third attempt of a romantic picnic fails miserably because Jacks self control crumples to dust when Ianto walks in flushed from the wind wearing crimson shirt with a jet black tie. After a hand job against a filing cabinet down in the archives, a blowjob in locker room and mind-blowing sex - Ianto bent over the conference room table - even Jack doesn't have the energy to drive to beach, set up a picnic and somehow keep it as a secret until the last moment. Besides it's a cloudy evening and sunset wouldn't be that amazing anyway.

X

There is no attempt four because strawberries hidden in the fridge are soon inedible and Ianto gets hurt.

It's nothing more than pretty bad bruising and sprained ankle but it's enough to scare Jack properly. The sunset tonight would've been perfect for naked picnic but Ianto is in no shape of leaving the safety of the Hub and the 51st century pheromones scented pile of blankets in Jacks bed. Ianto looks so young sitting there with an ice pack on his left ankle and when he says that Jack shouldn't blame himself and that he's perfectly fine, a wave of sudden tenderness washes over the Captain. He excuses himself with a grin promising to be back in a minute.

It does take longer than a minute because apparently he hid the strawberries better than he thought.

"3 minutes 54 seconds" Ianto comments when Jack returns, shaking his head with a smirk. "You better have a good explanation for this Harkness."

"Oh forgive me all mighty coffee King Ianto!" Jack begs with horrible Welsh accent, dropping to one knee. "I bring you gifts. Strawberries! Only the best ones to my Lord!"

"You are forgiven but for gods sake stop raping my language" Ianto chuckles extending his hand to snatch the package of strawberries.

"Not that fast" Jack grins opening the lid and picking the juiciest strawberry he sees. "Let me have the honor."

Ianto blushes to brilliant shade of pink when Jack feeds him the strawberry. It's worth of missing the brilliant sunset.


	15. O

This chapter has been taking ages to post and it's longer and the reason why it's so late is that my loyal laptop which has worked amazingly well for two years suddenly decided to go KABOOM and swallow all my files and pretty much everything else also. Thank god I have burned the most of my stories to CDs because now I have a new laptop and everything in the old one is just gone!! Disclaimer is the same (you know, nothing belongs to me, everything belongs to BBC and RTD...)

This chapter is pure JANTO with Owen.

--

**O**wen Harper is sitting in front of his work station, eyes glued to the screen, absent mindedly chewing the tip of his pen. Ianto, who is standing near the water tower frowns. His first guess had been that Owen watching porn (lord knows that that option is true 90 of the time) but then he decided that Owen wouldn't stay overtime just to watch porn and besides Owen is not having his earphones on. So it looks alarmingly much like Owen Harper is actually working. Naturally Ianto gets suspicious instantly. He starts to walk closer, careful not to make any sound, his eyes trying to see the screen. It's very difficult though because Owen is leaning close to it and covering it completely from this view. He clears his throat.

"What are you watching?"

"You!" Owen shouts jumping a bit and whirling around in his chair but managing to close the window of whatever he was watching just a moment ago at the same time (pretty impressing).

"Yes, it is me" Ianto answers calmly.

"Yeah but I was watching _you_" Owen says slowly the smirk of doom starting to tug the corners of his lips upwards.

Ianto has always _hated _that smirk. Whenever Owen has that smirk bad, nasty things are bound to happen.

"What do you mean?" he asks already knowing that the answer won't make him happy or even a bit amused.

"I was just checking out the CCTV footage. Found this" Owen now _grins _revealing the screen and clicking the CCTV footage window and pressing play.

Ianto _squeaks_. He actually squeaks in a very girly manner and blushes to furious shade of red which beautifully matches the stripes on his tie. The current clip from the footage was shot in the archives just three hours ago. No one was _never _ever supposed to see it. The reason he came up here in the first place was to delete that _this _before the person checking the Hub footage as a part of the daily security check does his/hers job. Hell, he even made himself the person doing the check since Tosh was having a day off. This is just one of those times when the universe decides that his life is going way too well and wants to mess it up for laughs.

"That is gross" Owen helpfully comments. "But still I am impressed by your flexibility. You happen to do yoga? Just curious."

"No" Ianto answers between gritted teeth.

"Really? Because as a doctor I say that _that _should be impossible without some muscle damage."

For a brief moment Ianto thinks about commenting that doing Jack is better exercising than doing yoga but decides quickly that the situation is bad enough without his comments. Instead he takes a deep breath and says:

"I'm fine. Thanks for your concern" and quickly, after a glance at the screen, continues "And for gods sake stop that video!"

"Okay" Owen says and presses the pause button. "But please, answer one question. Does your back ache? Because that must have hurt" he continues pointing Iantos arched back on the screen with his pen.

"I got a massage."

"From Jack?"

"No, from Janet" Ianto replies dryly.

Owen chuckles and he quickly takes advantage of that small distraction from the doctors part to shove him away from the screen and delete the footage. It's hard to hold back a sigh of relief. Now he would only have to figure out a way to retcon Owen because Owen would never let him live this down and he doesn't need any extra mocking. He gets that enough already.

"Want a coffee?" he asks as politely as he can in this situation.

"You're planning to retcon me, aren't you?"

"Of course not!" Ianto answers smoothly with his most convincing nice boy look.

"Really?" Owen asks and Ianto can't really blame him for the skeptical tone of voice.

"Yup."

"No thanks. I want to treasure this memory for the future."

"You can't go without coffee forever" Ianto reminds gently.

"I can go long enough to tell Tosh. She will pee in her pants in excitement."

"Whatever. Just remember that I will get you" Ianto says softly.

He turns around and walks away already thinking alternative options for Owen.

He doesn't bother to tell Owen that Tosh already knows about his little office romance with Jack. She is a smart woman and found out few days after the _First Night With The Stopwatch _(also known as the night Suzie died again). Ianto did have a plan to shut down the CCTV cameras just like he did the last time but they had forgot - Jack hadn't probably even thought about the whole thing and Ianto had been too distracted by Jacks hand in his trousers to even remember his surname not to mention some stupid cameras. When Tosh had done the daily security check she had - much like Owen today - found something much more interesting than pens being swallowed by the rift or Myfanwy. But luckily she had crossed paths with Jack before sharing the information with Owen and Gwen. Jack hade made a deal and she had agreed immediately. Ianto still smiles every time he thinks about the moment when Jack revealed the deal to him.

"_What? You made a deal with her?" he hisses, pacing around Jacks office. "I can't believe this."_

"_Yeah. She won't tell anyone so just calm down. Think the positives. We don't have to worry about the late night CCTV footage anymore!" Jack answers with a brilliant grin. _

"_What she gets in exchange?"_

"_She deletes everything that shows us together."_

"_I'm sensing a 'but'" Ianto sighs. _

"_BUT she gets to copy the footage and keep it before deleting!"_

"_Fuck."_

Ianto doubts that he can bribe Owen that easily. Maybe Owen would be happy with a promise of life long coffee service and eternal no to decaf no matter how angry Ianto is to him. Ianto pauses for a moment and then mentally shakes his head. Not worth it. He _loves _coffee revenges way too much to give them up in exchange of Owen shutting his mouth, besides it is highly unlikely that Owen will stay silent no matter what he would offer. He sighs heavily clicking his earpiece to channel 1 to contact - who else - Jack.

"Hey" he says softly.

"Hey yourself. Ready for round two?" Jacks voice answers and even though Ianto can't see it he can hear _the _smirk.

"Always" he comments and rolls his eyes. "And the secret is out. Owen got bored and started to check the internal CCTV footage. From the archives. Around that wobbly filing cabinet."

"Oh."

"Yes. You really should encourage him little more to do his paperwork. That would keep him busy."

"Paperwork is the reason why he gets too bored" Jack comments and then after a small pause whispers: "Coming up? We could scar him for life, you know, scare him silent. We haven't tested my crop yet..."

"Already on my way" Ianto answers quickly feeling suddenly very breathless.

He can always worry about Owen later.


	16. P

I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and alerted this story and offer you cookies and coffee and strawberry cake! You are all awesome! Disclaimer is still the same.

Nothing spoilerish in this chapter which happens to be pure jack and ianto fluff with naughtiness so you have been warned!

--

**P**illow under his cheek smells strange (in a good way though) and the feather duvet gently laid on him certainly doesn't match the woolen blanket he has in the Hub. Also the bed is actually a real honest to god bed and it's soft and he doesn't remember the last time he slept this well. Actually he doesn't remember the last time he stayed for the night after sex.

He stretches like a cat rubbing the sleep from his eyes lazily. When he opens them he has to blink few times because of the bright sunlight coming from an open window and his mouth turns up to a grin. His brains are still fuzzy from sleep and his thoughts are moving like snails in no hurry but he is still awake enough to appreciate the view with a low moan.

"Just so you know this is a one time thing" Ianto comments calmly leaning against the doorframe wearing only faded, loose jogging bottoms.

"Really?"

"Yup" Ianto answers stepping closer. "Don't get used to this."

Jack nods absent mindedly his eyes moving between the tray carrying a spectacular looking breakfast and Iantos hipbones clearly visible thanks to low riding jogging bottoms. The younger man rolls his eyes good willingly and tells Jack to sit up and then places the tray carefully on his lap so he wouldn't spill the precious coffee.

"Slept well?"

"Best night of my life" Jack answers with a wink taking the first sip of the coffee as carefully as he can knowing that Ianto wouldn't forgive him in ages if he ruined the cream colored Egyptian cotton sheets.

"I suggest that you drink that coffee without the usual savoring and eat the sandwich as fast as you can or else we'll be late from work. And you know what that means" Ianto says steadily.

"Boss will get mad? That's wrong though. I happen to know the boss and he is very, very fair man who understands his employees _needs_."

"No. It means no blowjobs for a week. Last time we came in late Owen made my life a living hell for months" Ianto answers and it's almost horrifying how obviously serious he is.

And Jack really likes those blowjobs. Actually he _loves _those blowjobs and even though he doesn't understand why they would be late since it's really early he finishes the coffee with five big gulps (Ianto rolls his eyes again because that is just so vulgar) and stuffs the sandwich in his mouth in a way which really is rather disgusting. This time Ianto frowns and looks away because he absolutely hates the way Jack eats sometimes - stuffing things to his mouth until the food just doesn't fit in anymore. You could think that man who has seen centuries turn several times would have learned some manners but no, there are things that Jack Harkness can't just learn, he acts like he would die if he used a napkin. Ianto still hasn't managed to find a sexual favor that would make Jack try to eat like a fine gentleman.

"We have over an hour before we have to leave. You have some plans?" Jack asks with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"I might have" Ianto smirks with his deliciously mischievous style which always makes Jacks blood run from his brains straight to his cock.

"And what would these plans include?"

"Food. I haven't eaten my breakfast yet."

"Oh?"

"Yep."

Ianto takes a small bowl from the tray taking of the lid revealing slices of apple, pear, bananas, water melon squares and pieces of mango. Jacks mouth opens and he knows he looks like an idiot but for gods sake if Ianto is thinking what he thinks Ianto is thinking the possibility of being late triples in seconds. Bed, fruit slices, still naked Jack, almost naked Ianto, lazy mornings and hunger - an equation that can not go wrong.

Ianto takes the tray and puts it down to perfectly polished floor minus the fruit bowl which he places on the bedside table. Then he gently pushes Jack down until he is laying down again and then peels the duvet off with a very pleased smile. Jack groans, closing his eyes and fisting the sheets in his hands. Ianto chuckles softly.

"I haven't even started yet" he smirks gently placing a slice of pear on Jacks sternum, his mouth watering.

"Then you better get going or we'll be late. Boss could get mad" Jack answers breathlessly.

"Your wish is my command."


	17. Q

So new chapter! This time the letter was Q which really caused some troubles for me but I survived! Disclaimer is still the same sad song about now owning a thing. Again I send plates full of chocolate chip cookies to everyone who pushed the review button! Thank you!

**WARNING THIS STORY IS POST JOURNEY'S END IN DW!! SO HUUUUUGE SPOILERS AHEAD! **

Just sweet Jack/Ianto otherwise

--

"**Q**uantum energy and transdimensional beings?" Mickey asks skeptically. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah" Gwen answers handing him the small device. "We call this the Ghost machine."

"Ghosts?"

"It's… complicated. I don't really know how to explain it but this device can like… suck you in to a moment of time when something happened involving strong emotions" she answers and he takes the so called ghost machine and turns it over in his hands few times.

"So it shows the past?"

"Not always. Sometimes it shows the future, or possible futures at least. We don't really know because we don't use it."

"Why?"

"Because… it affects you. When you see something you want to take part and change some things and trust me, that's not really a good idea. So we keep it locked up in here where it's safe."

Mickey nods his head and keeps looking at the ghost machine in his hands. He understands that Gwen has a point that she has been here a lot longer than he has and Jack has been around longer than all of them together but it doesn't change the fact that he kind of wants to try this. What could possibly happen? They are safe in the Hub and Martha is working downstairs so a medic would be close. Besides he has seen his share of terrifying and cruel things in the universe during his life and he can't imagine that this machine could show him something so horrible that it would drive him mad. Because honestly. They are in Jacks office. What terrifying could happen in Jacks office? Mentally rolling his eyes he sits down to captains desk but jumps up almost immediately.

The machine in his hand beeps and lights up.

"Shit" he says.

"Okay. Um… just drop it okay? Or do something but do not push the but…"

Mickey pushes the button.

The last thing he hears is Gwen shouting his name before the office around him shifts.

"Martha! Get Jack!" Gwen shouts sticking her head out of the office.

Martha who apparently was alerted by Gwen shouting Mickeys name is already climbing up the stairs from the autopsy bay and changes her direction towards the archives where Jack and Ianto disappeared twenty minutes ago. Gwen stays in Jacks office looking at their new technician and swallows. Mickey is standing still, mouth slightly open, eyes staring straight ahead and fingers clutching the ghost machine tightly.

Jack would kill her.

He asked her to show Mickey the artifacts in the secure archives in his office because as a technician he needed to know these things and who knows, maybe he could've even helped them to understand some of those objects. She had been a bit puzzled why this responsibility was pushed to her because archives were Iantos area and Jack guarded these things like a over protective mother bear but apparently whatever Ianto had whispered to Jacks ear roughly twenty two minutes ago was pleasurable enough to leave Gwen in charge. Even in a situation like this she must roll his eyes at those two. After losing Tosh and Owen and almost being exterminated by daleks those two became as subtle as flying bricks. It is kind of adorable, she must admit, but those two should also know that leaving her alone with Mickey and highly dangerous alien artifacts would be begging for troubles.

"What's going on?" Jack shouts and his voice and heavy footsteps (accompanied by the soft click of Marthas shoes and nearly silent steps of Ianto) are moving closer.

"Mickey touched the ghost machine and it switched on" she yells back biting her lower lip and glancing between the open door and still paralyzed Mickey.

No one ever told her how scary it is to watch someone being under the influence of the ghost machine.

"How long has he been like this?" Ianto asks bursting into the office with Jack and Martha hot on his heels.

"How the hell should I know?" Gwen shrieks words coming out much sharper than she intended. "I'm not the one always carrying that bloody stopwatch!"

"Um… guys? I think his coming back" Martha says slowly and everyone's head turns towards Mickey in a flash.

"Thank god" Gwen mumbles as Mickey comes back with a gasp and drops the ghost machine like it burns.

"Are you okay?" Martha asks.

"What did you see?" Jack demands.

"Y-y-you" Mickey stutters looking seriously freaked out and terrified.

"Just tell me what did you see" Jack answers voice softer now but clearly commanding.

"I told already! I saw you! With him!" Mickey says hysterically pointing at Ianto. "It was horrible! A hockey stick! _Hockey stick_! You don't just go and push your hockey stick up to your boyfriends…" he shrieks waving his hands around.

It takes about two seconds from everyone to understand what he means.

"Too much information!" Martha screams slapping her hands over her ears.

"Erm…" Gwen mumbles, not quite sure if she's going to throw up or explode to giggles.

Ianto mumbles something about the coffee and escapes with flaming cheeks.

"Oh. You saw that" Jack comments. "Well I guess it could've been worse…" he then grins and at least he has the decency to look somewhat embarrassed.

"You didn't have to watch it! And feel it!" Mickey squeaks looking really disturbed. "I _need _retcon!"

"That is for emergencies only and besides you should've known better than pushing the button near my desk" Jack smirks. "My desk has been included in many, many - ah - _situations _with strong emotions."

Mickey makes a weird sound between a sob and a groan.

_Bloody Torchwood. _


	18. R

FINALLY UPDATING! I have been suffering from the worst writersblock like in forever and rewritten this R chapter five times, seriously. I wrote and wrote and nothing just felt right until I spent a weekend in a small cottage listening to rain and writing like maniac. Countryside apparently is full of inspiration also, not only cannibals. But the disclaimer is still the same than in every other chapter and I promise to add the next chapter soon because now I actually have ideas ready for the next few chapters and also it's back to school again and that means super boring geography, biology and history teachers and you know what that means... fics!

So this is set few weeks after End Of Days and it might be a bit angsty, pairing is still jack/ianto... Ianto is not eating, Gwen is worried, Rhys has cooked lasagna and... well, just read to find out!

--

Rhys eats in complete silence wondering when was the last time the dinner in his table was this awkward.

Gwen (for once) isn't saying a thing but her eyes are following the young man who is their current guest and who is also not eating very much, merely playing with his food. Rhys doesn't mean to sound cocky but until this day he hasn't met anyone who doesn't eat his special lasagne like a starving man. And this man must be starving because he looks like he hasn't eaten in ages so Rhys doesn't really know what's wrong in here. With one glance the young man opposite him seems to realize his little problem.

"It's delicious Rhys, really, but I just ate before I came here. I'm not really hungry anymore."

"Oh? What did you eat?" Gwen asks sweetly.

"Noodles and chicken."

"Which flavour and where did you buy them?"

"Noodles were original curry and I bought them from a supermarket."

"Which supermarket?"

"The one near my flat, you know which."

"Who was you cashier?"

"Um… Gwen?" Rhys asks little uncertainly. "I'm not sure if this is the right place for an interrogation."

"Rhys is right Gwen. This is not the right place."

"Bollocks it is!" she shrieks suddenly pushing her plate away with a screech. "You're my co-worker and my friend and you are starving yourself Ianto Jones! I haven't seen you eating properly in two weeks! Tosh is worried sick and even Owen is pushing us to do something!"

Rhys swallows, his fork hanging in the air. Gwen looks like she might cry soon and Ianto has that ramrod straight posture with completely emotionless face which never promises any good.

"Thank you Rhys. It was a lovely dinner. It was nice to meet you finally" Ianto says with a polite smile, carefully puts his napkin back to the table and stands up.

"Don't you dare to walk away from me Jones!" Gwen shouts.

"I have a work to do. Sorry. See you tomorrow."

Rhys watches how Gwens face turns to interesting shade of red and decides not to say a word. Gwen is not the blushing kind of girl - not after all the things she heard while she worked for normal police with Andy and all his mates. The last time he saw her blush like this was when her mom told her that he was too fat. She had been so furious that he made a mental note to never make her that angry. She shoots him a look like this is all his fault and runs after the Jones kid. He stays where he is knowing that this really isn't his business.

Ianto manages to get to his coat before very angry Gwen corners him with blazing eyes and a finger poking his little too thin ribcage.

"This is madness Ianto. Starving yourself won't bring _him _back and you know it!" she hisses.

"I know that."

"Then why the hell are you doing this? You can't go on like this much longer" she whispers. "_He _will come back. _He _will return because of us and everything will be alright again. _He _might be a bastard and selfish but he cares about us. _He _would never leave for good, not without proper goodbyes at least."

Ianto decides not to ask why Gwen can't say Jacks name if she believes in him this much. He has a feeling that he wouldn't like the answer.

"He left with the Doctor Gwen" he sighs avoiding her eyes. "He will come back because he's Jack and this is his duty but… Yeah."

"But what Ianto?" she asks silently the anger finally disappearing from her when she sees the look Ianto so desperately tries to hide.

She doesn't know an adjective for it but it reminds him from a broken tea cup poorly taped together.

"Jack loves him. The Doctor. When we talked and yes we did talk, it wasn't always shagging" Ianto chuckles humourlessly. "But when we talked and he told me about the Doctor… every time he mentioned Doctors name his eyes started to shine and when he told about his travels in the TARDIS he looked so happy. The only reason Jack has been here this long, the only reason he joined Torchwood is finding the Doctor again. Yes, he cares about us but compared to Doctor we are nothing. _I _am nothing."

"That's why you're not eating?" she asks silently not really knowing what else to say.

"Everything tastes like ash when he's not here" Ianto says gently and then shakes his head. "It's stupid, I know and I should be happy for him because now he's happy and after all that's all I've ever wanted. To see him smile like that."

"Oh Ianto" Gwen whispers and steps closer to hug him.

He hugs her back for a short time but then gently pushes her away to give her a smile he hopes to be reassuring. He didn't want to share this with anyone - especially not with Gwen because he knows her and knows that she will worry and try to make it better. He will let her try and for her he will keep up with the brave face. He knows it will be okay one day. He has his own ways of dealing with stress, loss and emotional burden which means that by the time Jack return he has cleaned the Hub from the basement to Myfanwys nest with a toothbrush. He shakes himself out from his thoughts when he sees Gwens look.

"It's okay. Really Gwen, I'm fine. And I really have to go back to the Hub. Someone has to be there in case something happens."

"But it doesn't have to be you" she tries clearly thinking that he shouldn't be alone somewhere he and Jack spent so much time together.

"Who else? Owen is probably wasted by now, I pulled some strings and now Tosh is meeting a really nice computer programmer Katherine who just moved from London in a really nice restaurant and you have a wonderful boyfriend in your kitchen whose lasagne is to die for" he answers softly. "Like Jack would say - don't let it drift."

She chuckles silently and stands on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

"Just promise me to eat something" she whispers.

"I promise. I stop on my way to buy some Chinese."

"I expect to see receipts tomorrow. And CCTV footage of you stuffing food to your mouth like crazy. With or without the napkin, I'm not picky" she smiles.

He rolls his eyes at her and she swats her shoulder. Everything would work out just fine.


	19. S

So the new chapter S is here! Disclaimer is still the same. I am amazed from the amount of reviews and I thank you all from bothering to say something. Getting the feedback means a huge deal to me - you guys keep me doing this.

This is a small missing scene from Countrycide about Iantos time in the hands of the cannibals

--

Something snaps when a baseball bat hits his left side and that something snapping is not a rib - well not only a rib - it's a desperate realization that he wants to survive. It's ironic really; this is the first time he really wants to live after what happened to Lisa and now his chances of not being eaten are looking rather slim. He shouts when the bat connects with his stomach. Somewhere someone - probably that horrible woman - talks about the best ways of cooking him. Apparently his thighs and back would be delicious and he would taste great with smashed potatoes and garlic. He really doesn't want to know all the details.

To think anything else but that he wonders if Tosh got away and managed to find the others. Then he wonders if they are coming to get him back at all. He betrayed them, he almost destroyed everything in a selfish quest of happiness. _You execute her or I'll execute you both_! Jacks words echo in his head. He hadn't executed her, the team had done that for him. Technically Jack still owes him one execution which would be this. _Guess we're even then_, he thinks and winces when an overenthusiastic kick slides him forward and rubs the skin on his hands to the rough floor breaking the skin.

He tries to be brave and witty like the rest of the team when they face danger. He tries to ignore the bone deep pain and thinks about Jack and how he would probably flirt with the cannibals in this situation. He fails to find that thought amusing and instead tries taking comfort in the fact that this is what he has wanted for so long - death. But now when the death is programmed to happen soon… he's a coward. He has always been a coward. Deep inside he had known that the woman he loved was already gone but he couldn't accept that because he was too scared of letting go the only thing that anchored his sanity after Canary Warf. He had been terrified after seeing the things the Cyberwoman in Lisas body did but even then he had been too afraid to pull the trigger. During the suspension following that night he had tried to kill himself several times but always bailed out at the last moment. Now when he has a chance to die heroically he's being a coward - again.

And as if that's not bad enough - he's also a pathetic mess.

He is aware that he is sobbing, bleeding (inside and outside) and praying (not god though, he lost his faith after Lisa) and he might be even begging. As much as he wants to be rescued by the team he doesn't want them to see him like this. That thought gives him a last burst of energy and enough powers to attempt the one crazy thing he has left - he rolls to his side (scraping his cuffed hands against the floor in process) and kicks the butchers legs as hard as he can. The man actually does fall down much to their mutual surprise and he knows that this is his chance to escape - if he stood up now and ran he could get away like Tosh. He could survive.

However, he's not James Bond (or Jack) and he doesn't know any useful ninja moves which would help him escape fast enough.

He gets as far as on his knees when the butcher scrambles up taking the cleaver. He thinks _'finally'_. He thinks _'Jack'_. Then something snaps and everything goes black again.


	20. T

Ok, this was yet another of those chapters which I kept rewriting and rewriting all over again just to start with a whole new idea. Finally this idea came to me and since I have some weird thing going on with the DWs4 finale I had to write it. Maybe I get it out of my system this way. Disclaimer is still the same old... apparently my soul is still not good enough price to get all the right to Torchwood and Doctor Who characters. I also want to thank everyone who has pushed the small review button! I

**TO THOSE WHO HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT DOCTOR WHO SEASON 4 FINALE: THIS IS KIND OF AU ABOUT IT!** So now when you have been warned I can say that this continues the same janto line. Enjoy!

--

There is smoke in the air, Gwens workstation is burning and Ianto really should move three meters to his right where the fire extinguisher is but he can't force his body to work.

The fire and bubbling plastic of the computer reminds him of the camping trips he did with Lisa. It took him ages to light a campfire and she kept putting things that really shouldn't go to the fire into the fire. Ianto always complained about disposable plastic cups, chocolate bar wrappers, broken hairclips and his well served gloves with at least seven holes in them but she just laughed and ignored his speeches about environmental friendly actions and dangerous plastic gases. She was like that, his Lisa, so carefree and bubbly herself. He hadn't been that fond of camping but with her nothing could go wrong, even furious rainstorms with leaking tents were fun. Somehow all her tents seemed to be leaky ones, he always thought that was just another way to get an excuse to crawl into his sleeping back, not that she would've needed any excuses. He had adored her with his whole being ready to do anything for her. And he did so much for her but in the end it wasn't enough and he lost her smiles and stupid camping trips and possibly dangerous campfires.

_You have to extinguish the fire, _voice reminds him in his head. _You can't give up now. There are more of them coming. You need to be ready. You need to protect Gwen. _

With a wince he tries to scramble up from the floor and pains shoots trough his body and it feels like he can't breath. He groans and falls back to the floor expecting to feel legs stomping over his back.

That had happened in a rock show when he was sixteen. His Tad didn't want to let him go but he sneaked out with the money he 'borrowed' from his sister. All his friends were going so of course he had to be there or else they would call him a coward and in that age it was all about being cool and popular. So he had sneaked out to the local concert hall in his battered leather jacket and studded belt and his friends were slapping his back and telling him how cool he was when he had stolen his little sisters money. Everything had been wonderful until the doors opened and everyone started to run to the hall. He made it half way to stage before one of those big, mean motorcycle guys pushed him and he fell to the floor. It was a miracle that he survived with a concussion, three broken ribs, several bruises and nasty wound from someones stiletto heel after being stomped over by numerous people.

_Get up! _

Ianto bites his lip and with a broken sob manages to sit. Gwens workstation is still burning and so is the hull of a dalek near the cog door. There is a damn big hole in the floor and when he finds Gwen he has to mention how he was right when he said that the amount of alien explosives she had was way too much even for a dalek. That is if he finds Gwen in a condition where she can innocently grin at him and do the _'I'm clueless, don't blame me' _expression. The alarms are still ringing and he can't get his voice rise enough to shout her name over that sound.

_Stand up and go find her. Get her safe. Wait for Jack, he said he will come back and if you survive that long he will save you. Stand up, take you gun, get to her. Stop the fire. _

The voice in his head is pushing him forward mercilessly. Jack would come to save them just right after he saved the world, as long as he just believes into that he has the energy to push his broken body to it's limits. He couldn't let Jack come home just to find the Hub burned down to ashes and their bodies separated and alone. His legs almost give up when he takes the first step but he can't let that distract him now.

_Do it for Jack. Give him reasons to be proud. Just keep going and don't die. It will get better. _


	21. U

So this is the chapter U and OH MY GOD THIS IS ALMOST DONE! I don't honestly know what project I will do after this. Maybe I just invent more alphabets to keep me amused. HUUUGE thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I send you guys virtual cookies and cakes and candy and chocolate and all good things starting with c. Like coffee. Disclaimer is still the same old.

Jack and Ianto are bored in a UNIT meeting and there are many things you can do under the table...

--

UNIT conferences are something Jack despises the most in his position as the Torchwood leader. Paperwork? He just keeps stalling until Ianto gets frustrated and does them himself. Conferences with the Prime Minister? Also something Ianto does because Jack has no idea about things like annual budget, monthly expanses and how to behave.

However, UNIT conferences he cannot avoid.

With the last UNIT Commander it hadn't been that bad because they actually agreed of things but trust all the good UNIT boys to die in a battle. Jack hasn't even bothered to learn the name of the new Commander, that's how horrible the man is. He doesn't listen, has some weird delusions about UNIT being able to boss Torchwood around, he thinks that Torchwood should share everything they know with them and simply refuses to accept any other view than his own. Jack really hopes he will turn out to be either vicious alien or a power crazy man wanting to rule the universe. That would mean Jack could kick his ass with crowns approval, which is something he _really _wants to do now.

Ianto sitting next to him flinches and tenses even more, looking like he's ready to explode too. But Jack really can't blame Ianto. This new UNIT Commander is not only unable to cooperate but he has also no manners and during the last hour he has managed to insult everyone working for Torchwood, everyone supporting Torchwood and the entire Wales. He also spits a lot while he speaks and thank god this is only a video conference.

He sneakily moves his hand under the table to squeeze Iantos thigh. And he gets an idea. Ianto seems to sense that too, gives him a subtle but deathly glare, and shakes his head. Jack would like to comment how the UNIT Commander is too caught up in his own speech that he wouldn't notice if they stripped down and had threesome with Janet but because he can't exactly voice his opinion, he dips his hand and traces his thumb along the inseam of those sinfully tight pinstriped trousers.

"Jack" Ianto whispers, his voice having a clear warning tone, which Jacks hand doesn't listen.

Jack just grins and his fingers start to move in small circles steadily rising higher. Ianto keeps glaring him from the corner of his eye and occasionally his hand swats Jacks own away but the older man knows he's not really trying. They have done this before - or at least Jack has tried to do this in about every single meeting they have - and they both know that Ianto is more than capable of stopping this. But now they are both bored and frustrated, the camera can't see trough the table and it looks like the new UNIT Commander will talk forever so…

Jacks hand slides on Iantos crotch and he cant help but make a positively delighted sound when he realizes that the young Welsh man is already half hard.

"That's interesting" Jack casually mentions.

Ianto doesn't even blink and on the screen the UNIT Commander looks smug and launches himself to yet another speech.


	22. V

Sorry about the lack of updating lately but I'm back!

John is bored and in the Hub torturing Ianto who is not going to take it much longer... the usual jack/ianto and warnings for m/m relationships.

--

"Vera, could you please move your feet away from my table?" Ianto asks sweetly and John Hart sitting at the conference room table, his feet still very much on the table, scowls.

"Stop calling me that Eye Candy."

"If I remember right you also go by the name Vera."

"I said that to a woman. And if I remember right, you're not a woman. Or are you?" John sneers giving Ianto a look which can only be described lecherous.

"Who knows" Ianto smirks. "I do look quite charming in stockings."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. He does look very charming" Jack grins at the doorway finally revealing his presence.

"Ooh! Kinky Welsh man!" John smiles shooting Ianto an approving look.

"You have no idea" Jack answers smugly.

"The orgy offer still stands, you know. Threesome always spices up the relationship…"

"Not happening."

"…Or are you worried that Eye Candy will like it too much?"

"Ha-ha" Jack chuckles dryly. "I just don't like to share."

"Sharing is caring" John reminds him with a gleeful look.

"Well I'm not interested in caring about you" Jack shoots back and John grabs his chest in mock hurt. "Ianto is _mine_. Off limits."

"Um… feeling a bit objectified here" Ianto comments waving his hand in the air.

"Sorry" Jack smiles sheepishly even though Ianto can tell that Jack is not sorry at all and really, Ianto doesn't want him to be.

John launches himself yet to another inappropriate comment and soon the Captains are arguing again. Ianto rolls his eyes. It has been like this the last two days and personally he's getting tired of this. When John had appeared his first reaction had been '_he wants to kill us all, where is my gun' _followed by '_does Jack have a psychotic sister he forgot to mention?' _but John came because he was bored. When a normal person is bored - not that Ianto knows many normal persons - Ianto would advise them to pick a book, watch a movie, go out, play rugby or _look _at that mountain of paperwork on their desks. But John is different. When John is bored he comes to them to either physically or mentally torture them - especially Ianto - to madness.

For the last two days Ianto has been hearing countless amount of crude suggestions, harassing comments even worse then the ones he hears from Jack and he has suffered from at least twenty shameless groping attempts. He just wants to get over this and get rid of John so he could finally actually spend some alone time with Jack without someone spying them on the CCTV or lurking at the shadows, interrupting when the things are getting good. It's horrible, really. Ianto has never felt so annoyed, sexually frustrated or willing to strangle someone with his bare hands than now.

"…Honestly. I could teach him few things even you haven't experienced. You have missed a lot of things while being stuck here on earth. You can get 19 simultaneous pleasures in Lotus Nebula nowadays" John says raising his voice.

"Me and Ianto are perfect just as we are now. Everything is not always about sex, I think you have missed that while sleeping around and getting every STD in the universe!" Jack snaps back looking mildly offended about the fact that someone dares to doubt his abilities as a lover.

"Oh you're so…"

"Shut up" Ianto interrupts his voice loud and clear much to his own surprise. "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you two fighting over the fact which one of you has bigger dick because I think we all know that the answer is Jack." Jack gives him a dazzling Harkness patented grin. "So now when that's clear: John-Vera-whatever get out, walk away and teleport yourself to Lotus Nebula or the centre of the sun, I don't care. Just leave before I really get angry and shoot you."

"You wouldn't shoot me" John grins though much to his pleasure Ianto notices the hint of doubt in the captains eyes.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. He once shot his team mate when he tried to get me back from 1941and he once shot me when I broke the coffee machine" Jack cheerily comments.

"You're joking."

"Fine" Ianto growls and pulls out the gun from the waistband of his trousers where it has been - just in case - for the last few days. "I give you ten minutes to gather your shit and walk away, possibly run considering the mess you have made here, and then… _bang_."

"You don't have the balls to do it."

"Oh he has" Jack says.

"He's right" Ianto murmurs and pulls the safety off in his gun.

John stares at him for a moment before making his decision.

"Okay. I'm going."


	23. W

I am aware that this is a bit longer than the other parts, almost 1000 words but when the plot bunny bit me there was nothing I could do to stop this... Disclaimer is still the same... Also there are no words to describe the wonderful reviewers! You guys are the best and keep me going!

Pairing is usual jack/ianto and this time a furry alien looking a lot like Furby is threatening to pull them apart...

--

**W**hen the small and adorably cute (despite the needle sharp teeth) alien started to call Ianto 'mummy' (right after eating his favourite navy blue tie) everyone thought it was _hilarious_. Well anyone except Ianto who had still been grieving after the tie. Owen had laughed so hard that he fell out of his chair and rolled around the Hub with tears pouring down his cheeks and it had only ended when Ianto 'accidentally' kicked him in the head. However, that had happened two days ago. Now a furry alien calling Ianto 'mummy' and following him _everywhere _is just very annoying. And kind of dangerous too.

"Um… could you help me? Please?" Ianto asks sounding rather miserable.

And he has his reasons. Like the fact that the cute furry alien is sitting on the top of his head and snarling to anyone who dares to come within ten feet radius from him. Also when he tries to do paperwork the alien jumps down and eats the paper. And the pens. And Jack. This morning he went to Jack to give the every morning coffee when the alien got jealous and bit a large chunk out of Jacks thumb.

"I am not coming near you after that" Owen says from the other side of the room pointing at Jacks hand.

"We have to get that thing off somehow. It's getting little too overprotecting" Tosh sighs.

"You think so?" Ianto answers dryly, rolling his eyes.

The alien coos at his voice. Sometimes it kind of reminds him of Jack - cute, possessive, loves 'beautiful, Welsh vowels' and bites.

"We could try Weevil spray" Gwen suggests.

"No. That thing is on Ianto. We spray it and we spray him too. I don't want to risk his health in this" Jack disagrees giving her a sharp look.

"We could give him a gas mask."

"No. It would just eat it. Apparently it eats everything" Ianto answers heavily.

"Gas mask is bigger than it."

"And last time I checked my _entire _collection of Irvine Welsh books was bigger than it. That didn't stop it from eating every single book!"

"Oh."

"We could always just, you know… shoot it" Owen shrugs.

"No!" Gwen shrieks. "Look at it! It's too cute to shoot!"

The alien seems to understand that this is matter of life and death and puts on the cutest expression it knows. With huge wet eyes and teeth hidden in the mess of fur it reaches its goal - on the other side of the room Gwens heart melts.

"It bit a chunk out of my thumb. I can't touch Ianto. I'm with Owen in this" Jack grumbles.

"It is pretty damn fast. If you try to shoot it you will probably kill me in the process. And then it would probably eat my body or eat you or both" Ianto comments gloomily.

"We could try…"

"Owen, _no_" Tosh says shaking her head.

"You don't know what I was going to say!"

"The singularity scalpel" Tosh, Jack, Gwen and Ianto say at the same time.

Owen looks suspiciously much like he's sulking.

"Maybe we should just buy a cat. Cats like small, furry and squeaking things" Gwen says.

"And that would be less cruel than just shooting it?" Ianto answers.

"Well not as cruel as covering it with Myfanwys grill sauce."

"Or we could use a stun gun!"

"Again: too fast" Ianto sighs and gently peels the alien off his head and puts it to table where it immediately takes a pen and starts to chew it.

"Maybe we could throw it to the rift manipulator and see where it ends up."

"For the millionth time the manipulator doesn't work like that Owen" Tosh says.

The whole team falls to depressed silence once again. Gwen is moping because now there is no one to do her paperwork so she could get home early and without Ianto and his mystical muffin lair, she's suffering trough horrible withdrawal symptoms from her favourite treat. Tosh is sad because Ianto is her best friend and it's impossible to have friends night out when the other has a living, nasty hat. Owen is extra caveman-ish because (even though he won't ever say it) Ianto is the coffee king and without the coffee… you get the idea. Jack is depressed because he misses his sex time. Very simple.

But one thing that pulls them out of their dwelling is a sudden snap, a squeak and Iantos voice firmly saying:

"Get off me. I'm _not _your mummy."

The alien looks at him in a shock and slowly backs away until it sits down with a thud to the opposite end of the table. For a moment no one says a word and then…

"…Or teaboy could've done that ages ago" Owen mumbles.

"Fucking _finally_!" Jack growls and pounces pushing everything on his way aside to get to Ianto.

"Oi!" Owen shouts when his elbow hits the wall. "Watch it! And also a friendly notion - get a room!"

Jack is too busy to answers because he's groping Ianto to make up all the lost time.

"Oh! Look! It's crying! Did you have to be so mean?" Gwen says accusingly crouching near the alien. "Oh come here little one, don't cry!"

"Gwen, no!" everyone shouts but it's too late.

The alien attaches itself to her with a maniacs grin full of needle sharp teeth and snarls at Owen when he moves to back off.

"Oops?" she tentatively says and the alien coos.

"That's it" Jack growls hand moving towards his Webley.

"You're going to shoot it?" Ianto asks sounding very much approving to the idea of getting rid of his little torturer for good.

"Yep."

"Hey!" Gwen shouts. "How come you're willing to shoot it now?!"

Jack glances at Ianto who can't hide his smugness all that well. The alien squeals and starts eating it's way trough Gwens favorite jacket.

"OK!" she shrieks. "Just shoot it! Shoot it!"


	24. X

I am so sorry about my lack of updating recently but the school tried to kill me but I'm back now! Only few chapters to write anymore... I'm actually feeling a bit sad because of it. But now to the business. Disclaimer is still the same as always. Also, I want to thank everyone who has reviewed me because comments always cheer me up and give me energy after a long day in school.

After Jack abandons them everything is chaotic until Ianto gives the team a much needed speech.

--

"**X**-rays are clear, no fractures. You're good to go but I recommend few days of bed rest and no work for at least a week" Owen lectures holding a digital notepad which makes him look like a real, _serious _doctor. "You're lucky, this could have been much worse."

"Doesn't really feel like it" Ianto mumbles on the cold examination table carefully observing the huge bruise that pretty much covers his entire left side.

"Well blame Jack for that" Owen growls sourly.

The whole room seems to freeze. Gwen gasps silently and then purses her lips and glares at Owen. Tosh looks down at her new shoes, now covered in blue sticky substance. Owen grits his teeth together and his fingers rattle a nervous rhythm to the notepad. Ianto sighs but refuses to avoid their eyes. It's been the same ever since Jack disappeared three weeks ago. No one wants to mention Jacks name and Tosh, Owen and Gwen walk around him like he's made of glass. All of a sudden even Owen started to be nice to him which is the most alarming thing _ever_.

"I would like to know how me getting slammed to a wall by an alien is Jacks fault?" he asks silently. "He's not even here" he adds and is proud of his steady voice.

"Exactly!" Owen shouts. "If he was here nothing would ever happen to you! Or to any of us! In three weeks we have had more accidents and injuries than we had in three months with that bastard!"

"Well that's not Jacks fault, okay? If we get hurt it's because _we _are not good enough" Ianto answers. "Lets face it. We have no leader here. We run around like headless chickens. I still have no field training whatsoever and paperwork keeps piling up on our desks. Tosh hasn't slept in 37 hours and this is the third night in the row when Gwen doesn't go home to her boyfriend. This has nothing to do with Jack. This is about us being miserable and stupid. We don't need Jack to survive. We have never needed him to help us. He picked us because he knew we were capable of doing this with or without him!"

For a moment everyone is silent because of his outburst. They look at him like he's alien, something they have never seen before. Then Gwen lets out a hysteric giggle and runs to him and kisses his cheek with tears in her eyes. Owen cracks a grin and Tosh finally looks up from her shoes and gives them a blinding smile.

"You know, I finally start to understand why you got the job" Owen comments.

"About a time" Ianto answers with a smirk.


	25. Y

Updating again and keeping the same disclaimer. Nothing still belongs to me and I still cry every time I write that sentence.

In this chapter Gwen is lecturing to the mystery person who wants to join Torchwood...

--

"**Y**ou need to understand that every time you step out of these doors while you're working you are going to risk your life" Gwen lectures. "It's never safe; you rarely know what you're up against until you get to the location. It's tiring, dangerous and you certainly don't get many friends."

"I understand."

"Also this job can get into your head. Don't let that happen. All the things you will see and the wonderful artefacts you find - they are not more important than your own life. If anything feels wrong you come and talk to me or Jack or Ianto about it. Is that clear?"

"Yeah… but I doubt that some alien _toy _will make me obsessed."

"Actually that happens pretty easily. Once we found this thing we called the Ghost Machine and seeing the past made us do pretty stupid things. And when I joined there was this Suzie and her alien glove. Because of it she killed three people and was about to kill me but then Jack showed up and she killed herself" she explains and winces at the memory. "Then she came back and almost killed me again."

"Came back? But you said she killed herself? Dead people don't just come back!"

"Well usually no but you never know with Torchwood. Dead things don't always stay dead in here. Like Jack and I think it's better that I tell you that right away. Jack can die but he doesn't stay dead. You never get used to that" she tells shaking her head. "It takes a while sometimes but if he dies just drag him to the SUV and drive him here. Or if you're in a bad place just do your job. And call Ianto. _Always _call Ianto or he serves you decaf for a week" she shudders.

"Okay…" the answer comes out a bit hesitant so Gwen decides that if she's doing the _'welcome to Torchwood, are you sure you want to join us_?' lecture she might as well do it properly.

"Jack always tries to hide his deaths from Ianto but that never works because Ianto knows everything - that's also something you need to remember: no one knows more than him so if you have a problem with anything just ask him. And never go to the archives without a permission, he will skin you alive if you mess with his filing system. Also if he and Jack are both somewhere and you can't contact them and you know they're not on the field wait about thirty minutes before you go and look for them. We don't want you to get traumatized in your first week" she grins.

"So they are…?"

"Shagging, yes" she answers. "All over the place. Always knock if Jacks office door is closed. If you leave something in here don't come back to get it after hours. Never ever flirt with one of them if the other is present. Never ever mock Iantos coffee. Or Jacks coat. Or mention if they're acting like an old married couple."

"Okay…"

"Oh, and I forgot to mention, always keep your phone near you. If we call you have to do what we tell immediately no matter what you are doing when you get the call."

"I think I can do that. It's not like I have a life or anything."

"And I think you and Ianto and your never ending sarcasm will become good friends" Gwen smiles and claps her hands together. "So you are sure you want to join us? Become a part of the mysterious Torchwood?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"In that case…. Welcome to Torchwood Three Andy Davidson!" she beams.

"About a bloody time."


End file.
